The following is a collection of signs in English from other countries:

In a Tokyo hotel: Is forbidden to steal hotel please. If you are not a person to do such a thing please do not read this notice.

In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During the time we regret that you will be unbearable.

In a Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.

In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 AM daily.

In a Rhodes, Greece tailor shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.

In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers: Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.

On the door of a Moscow hotel room: If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.

In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other diseases.

Two signs from a Mojorcan shop entrance: - English well speaking - Here speeching American

In a Chinese restaurant: If you are satisfactory, please tell your friends. If you are not satisfactory, please tell the waiter.

Detour highway sign in Kyushi, Japan: STOP! DRIVE SIDEWAYS.

And my favorite! From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.

All goes to show - when it comes to translation, you need the professionals!